I am not usually one to write a blog post in response to the world’s news, I have a love hate relationship with the media both in the UK and worldwide for always dramatising and over playing “news”. However I have been haunted by the feelings I have had since Friday afternoon, and I just couldn’t not write about how heartbreaking the situation is. My love and want to support all those touched and involved in the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy is overwhelming.
From the moment the first information began to be released my heart just ached, before the ages of the children were even released something told me they were B Lloyd’s age. I am so heartbroken with all of the events of that tragic morning in Newtown Connecticut. At times I have been unable to read anymore, or look at those beautiful children’s pictures but I have as I wanted to honor their short lives. In every single photo I see similarities to B Lloyd. Every single one of those gorgeous children remind me of B Lloyd and her school friends. I have sat today and read details of each child, all of them like any other 6 year old you are likely to know. All of them like B Lloyd and her school friends.
I cannot of course even begin to understand or know the feelings that these parents must be going through right now. All I do know is that the hurt and utter turmoil Daddy Lloyd and I have felt this past 3 months since leaving Harry Lloyd at the hospital is a never ending gut wrenching pain. I truly never want to know of other parents or anyone for that matter, having to go through such grief. My heart aches for those that do encounter such pain. Perhaps because of our grief of losing Harry Lloyd I have a small glimmer of insight into what these poor parents and families must be going through.
I have constantly looked at B Lloyd since Friday night and have been caught with tears rolling down my face at the thought of loosing her like the reality these parents are facing right now. There is no doubt she is the utter light in our lives and the reason Daddy Lloyd and I continue to smile. I have hugged her and Daddy Lloyd so extra tight this last few days, I ache for B Lloyd while she is at school. Like these parents before Friday, I take comfort in the fact that she will be safe while at school, safe until I am there to collect her again at 3pm. Now as the paranoid neurotic mother I can be, I want to know just how secure her infant school is. I cannot wait for the Christmas Holidays to start so I can have her home with me where I can always be with her to protect her.
I know strength is found from within for whichever nightmare you one day find yourself unable to wake from, and I hope these parents and families are able to find this strength and have the love and support around them that they will need over the coming days, weeks, months and years. I can only offer my utter sorrow and love and hope that the parents and families can take some tiny comfort in knowing that in this little space on the internet we grieve with them.
The words President Obama spoke on Friday afternoon rang so true to me “there is not a parent in US who does not feel the same overwhelming grief as I do” Apart from I think he underestimated the overwhelming grief the whole world feels. We stand with you the families of Newtown, Connecticut.
To President Obama – I am not into politics, I am not even going to pretend like I understand the gun laws in the US, all I can do is urge you to listen and act from one parent to another parent. Please, look at this picture I took of B Lloyd on Monday morning. A quick snap of my beautiful 6 year old daughter before leaving for school. Happy, carefree, innocent and excited about her class christmas party, and excited about being on Santa’s Good List this year. She is no different to any of the beautiful children who lost their lives on Friday Morning. The only difference between them is she lives in a country where there are strict legislation over the ownership of firearms. Please don’t let all the innocent children and teachers who lost their lives have done so in vain.
To all the Angels that Heaven has gained this year, hold each other tight and look after each other. You are always in our hearts and you will always be showered with our love and greatly missed.