It’s the 5th day of
Christmas December and I am trying, I am trying so hard to be finding that Christmas Cheer that we so dearly love in the household. But I have to be honest I am so sad. I am desperately desperately sad and just want to hibernate away and not have to go through the whole christmas period this year.
We love traditions, we look forward to them, take love and comfort from them, thoroughly enjoy them when they are happening and my heart swells when I think about a time when B Lloyd will look forward to them with her family. Some are brand new Team Lloyd traditions some are dear to me from my childhood but they all mean the world to us.
Last night Daddy Lloyd and I set about one of those traditions, Nanna and Grandad Gibbs receive a calendar made by us every year with moments from the current year captured for another year in print. We usually love sitting down and looking at our year in pictures, it always reminds us of little things that you have forgotten happened, or you forget that you have even taken that photo. This year with the purchase of the beautiful canon SLR we should have some awesome photos.
So look back on the year we did. First the photos of that first pregnancy test I took saying Pregnant 2-3 weeks. Then the photos of Peppa Pig World that I had taken B Lloyd and Nanna Gibbs to whilst 7 weeks pregnant and suffering with hyperemesis gravidarum. I do not look good, and yes I ended up in hospital that evening. Then there is the 9 week scan picture that Daddy Lloyd and I paid for as a special one year wedding anniversary present to each other, the 12 week scan picture, the holiday to Tenerife with my 16 week bump that was not small, the 20 week scan picture and I think by now Daddy Lloyd and I were doing well to be finding any pictures that we wanted captured for another year.
Then the inevitable pictures from after August 1st, and try as we might we couldn’t find a photo where both Daddy Lloyd and I looked, well happy.
Nanna and Grandad Gibbs will hopefully love their calendar as they do every year, and we do have some very lovely family photos in there, lots of a certain granddaughter! Lots with her Uncle CC and Aunty Mel, Nanna and Granddad and some lovely Team Lloyd photos. I just hope that Nanna doesn’t look at my eyes as I know she will see that sparkle is missing, and I don’t want to make her sad on Christmas morning.
We also put a photo on every person’s birthday square. We love this part as we use silly snaps that we have taken throughout the year of the individual. We have added August 1st and without a photo of Harry Lloyd that we can use, we used the photo I posted recently of the clouds that I am convinced look like angels. Daddy Lloyd and I went to bed unable to hide our sorrow.
Today I have heard of two new arrivals from mums that I was pregnant alongside, I am so pleased that their little boys have arrived safely. It does hurt though, it makes my arms ache even more. I just hope that our little angel is looking down over them all and keeping them safe.
I guess the reason I have blogged today is because I want to take comfort in our family traditions, I want to get lost in them like we do every December, but this year I need them more than ever.