My Photo of The Week last week was from our first trip to Legoland Windsor this season. We are truly Legoland fans here at TeamLloyd, we have been visiting for the past 5 years since B Lloyd was a mere 1 year old in her buggy.
We are extremely lucky as we are just 20 minutes drive away, and the annual passes make fantastic value for money. Way back when we first started visiting I was the only person who needed a pass, any children under 3 are free and as B Lloyd and I always went whilst Daddy Lloyd was at work it was a great cheap day out that would have B Lloyd and I entertained for a couple of hours and exhausted to fall asleep by nap time! (Her not me!)
Then as she turned 3 and big enough for her own annual pass we have discovered more and more about Legoland Windsor. We sometimes even just decide to pop over for lunch and if we only do 1 or 2 rides we don’t mind – even if it is busy we now know which rides to avoid or where to head and get the most out of our couple of hours!!!
Going back this last week has brought up lots of memories that we had tucked up at the back of our minds. Last year B Lloyd and I were staying at the brand new Legoland Hotel with our cousins so had a 2 day plan of being lost in Legoland. Sadly however the fun was very quickly taken out of the day with me receiving a phone call to confirm that Daddy Lloyd was indeed a Cystic Fibrosis carrier. There is something definitely very surreal about hearing that information whilst in a queue to get on a Lego Train. This picture was taken about an hour before I had the phone call, for the rest of the day I tried to keep going for B Lloyd whilst tears poured down my face, with her asking me to please stop crying.
I remember that evening being sat in the restaurant having had to leave B Lloyd for a couple of hours with Tracey and her daughter whilst Daddy Lloyd and I went and spoke with the Cystic Fibrosis specialist. In that two hours our lives changed. Suddenly I was back at Legoland smiling at B Lloyd and trying to function enough to be able to put words together. We were at this point having to grieve that our pregnancy was no longer normal, Daddy Lloyd and I are both carriers for Cystic Fibrosis and our son has Cystic Fibrosis.
So what else would a family do the very next morning? Well we went back into Legoland – honestly please don’t ask, neither Daddy Lloyd or I have any idea how we got about the park that day, all we did know is that B Lloyd was desperate to see us smile and know everything was ok.
Legoland is a place full of fun, with so much to see and do, it obviously didn’t take our minds off of everything, but it did for B Lloyd and on that day whilst Daddy Lloyd and I had so much to think about it worked.
Little did we know that the worst was still to come. Having been told at our next scan that Harry Lloyd’s heart had stopped beating our world crashed down around us again. We would never have chosen to go to Legoland that day but we had this 24 hour period that we had to fill, before being able to go into hospital to be induced for Harry’s birth. The night before through our own tears we had sat B Lloyd on our knees to tell her that her baby brother was too poorly to be able to live outside of mummy’s tummy. I don’t know the right way of telling a 5 year old that their baby brother has died, it was just awful. I would have given anything to take away the sobs coming from her and us that night. That is not a conversation any mummy should ever have to have with their child.
Looking back we know why B Lloyd chose Legoland to go to that day. It is like a safe place, there she has Mummy and Daddy’s full attention and she has fun and (usually) Mummy and Daddy don’t cry.
So you see, for us to have dusted off those annual passes last week was a huge move, we never did go back at the end of last season, our pain all still open and raw. But it is a new season at Legoland, and other than those last two or three visits we have always had lots of wonderful family memories. Stood watching B Lloyd on the Driving School this year, reminded me again at how strange time is. The world had moved on, time had passed, we were back in the same place yet so much had happened.
As with our rule for 2013 we went gently, we went with the plan of just a couple of rides, maybe the pirate show, we went knowing it might cause us to cry. We are still grieving but we are working towards our new normal. We went and had a Team Lloyd day at Legoland and it was great. Behind my smiles and laughter I thought of Harry often, and smiled when I saw a white feather flitter down beside me.
NB – This is not a paid or asked for review by Legoland Windsor, just a simple post showing how Team Lloyd are working through our grief. We are huge Lego fans, and would recommend anyone to take a trip to Legoland!