I haven’t written much for a couple of weeks but I have been spending the time working through some tough feelings. The turn of the new year was tough for so many reasons. I have always been someone who looks forward into the new year and enjoys leaving behind the old and embracing the new. It was therefore psychologically a challenge to myself to not think that this meant I was leaving Harry behind in 2012.
Which of course I am not, Harry is a part of us and is carried around in our hearts, he is everywhere. To see the snow fall and settle and see the excitement on B Lloyd’s face and feel the pain in my heart that Harry was not getting to enjoy his first experience of the snow helped me know that I miss him as much today as I have been since August 1st. I have spent a lot of hours speaking to friends and talking about just how special Harry was.
In fact as the title of this post suggests it is my wonderful friends that have helped shape the start of 2013 very positively. Lets face it January is never a nice month, the post christmas blues, the desperate waiting of that next pay day or the thought of the long 12 months that are stretched out in front of you it can bring any one down. Now don’t get me wrong I am not in a “I’m so happy and positive I could burst” sort of place but I am quietly thankful and peacefully making my steps into the year.
I have the best set of friends around me a girl could ask for. And I wanted to just say a very big heartfelt thank you to a certain ‘up north’ couple that I don’t get to see as much as I would like! You see before Christmas I was browsing through this awesome website selecting a couple of gifts for the lovely Daddy Lloyd when I spotted a ladies T shirt that was just lovely. It took my breath away in fact. Now knowing the brains behind this awesome website I was a bit cheeky and asked whether there was anyway the balloon that was featured on the t shirt could be made blue instead of red.
Well as things do they slip you mind somewhat, and last week I opened up a package addressed to me and couldn’t believe my eyes. Not only had the balloon been changed to blue, but the little person now has a striking resemblance to me, with a single tear falling from her eye. There was also a separate newly designed T shirt in the package for Daddy Lloyd. The care and thought that Kelly and Kevin put into these t shirts for us is just so much, I don’t think they can both realise just how much it means to us.
I wore my T shirt yesterday. B Lloyd trotted over to me quite quickly
“Mummy why have you let go of that balloon?”
“Well, it was so it could go to heaven for Harry”
“Mummy, why are you crying”
“Because Mummy is very sad that we didn’t get to bring Harry home honey”
A slight pause.
“Mummy, I miss Harry” “Is he still poorly in heaven?”
We have not had such an open and candid conversation about Harry for a while, B Lloyd does talk about him but she doesn’t ask too many questions, I think a lot of that is because she is worried she will upset us. Our little conversation went on yesterday and we spoke about heaven for quite a while. All from a t shirt. All because of the kindess of Kelly and Kevin Brett.
Thank you guys, we love you X